Thin is perfection

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About

Height: 5' 3"
Age: 21
SW: 208
CW: 158
GW1: 143
GW2: 135
GW3: 120
GW4 110
UGW: 98

I believe my eating disorder began when I was 12yrs old. All of the behaviors and symptoms were noticeably there. Except I foolishly thought it was a phase...When I was in high school, I was so skinny, and obsessed with my weight and extremely self-concious. No matter how thin I was, I thought I was still fat. Food simply looked like calories to me. I ended up getting diagnosed with EDNOS (SAN). But then I got put on some anxiety, and antidepressant meds which made me gain a LARGE amount of weight. After a few years and change in meds, I've decided that I am strong and I am in control of my body and will re-take control of my figure now.

I started out at, embarassingly, 208lbs So I immediately lost 15lbs in a month. At first, I fell right back into my old ways with my binge/purge cycle and laxatives but now I'm just trying to avoid eating in general to avoid purging, etc. Now I feel like I've slipped back into my ED (which never really left) and it concerns me but I don't care because I'm obsessed with losing weight and what I eat (if I eat at all).